Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Letter to the Fans

Dearest members of the Nesyah H. Kopans fan club,

We are woefully past due for an update on the status of Nesi's cuteness.

So, here it is:

Nesi's hair
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is growing
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into the shape of a spike
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which we cannot seem to comb, gel,
or otherwise tame.
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Also she got her ears pierced, 
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so she's never truly wearing *ahem* only her birthday suit.
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Very ladylike.
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That's the news!  Now everyone knows.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Two Years Old

Dear Rami,
Two nights before your second birthday, amidst the chaos of bedtime, you bounded up to me, grinning, with a copy of Where the Wild Things Are, did an about-face, and plopped down in my lap. You shimmied your bottom so as to settle into the best snuggle possible. You were so proud of the words you knew, jabbing your pudgy little finger at the page and shouting the words you knew -  "moon!" "boat!" "teeth!" - and then whipping your head around to flash a grin and check to make sure my face showed the appropriate pride.

You were so content to press your little cheek against mine, until the last few pages of the story, when you would spring up to grab another book. You knew that bedtime usually warrants just one story, but thought that if you were holding a new book in hand and looking up at me expectantly, I wouldn't be able to refuse.  

You were right. In this manner we passed about fifteen minutes of solid story-reading, just you and I, while everyone else's bedtime business was whirring around us. As we moved through Goodnight Moon, your little hand clasped mine and your thumb rubbed circles on the back of my hand. And, once again (for this happens so very often), I fell head-over-heels in love with you.

By the time we'd read halfway through How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? your sister had been laid down and your brother and Abba had caught on to what a fabulous rime we were having. Asher squeezed onto my lap next to you and our special quiet storytime bubble was broken, but that feeling of just-us-ness lingered all night.

If any one thing can be said about you, it is that your personality is strong.  Your behavior and moods are still just as intense as they were a year ago, and they are predictably so.  It is still true that you are quick to passionate anger when you don't get what you want or think you deserve.
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But far, far overshadowing your angry outbursts is that ever since you were a very little baby, you have not hesitated to show affection.  That signature smirk of contentedness can still be sighted in the two-year-old Rami, typically during a TV-watching snuggle with Ima. The intensity of your affection has taken on yet more endearing features, however - my heart swells when you place your chubby hands on my cheeks, lean your forehead against mine, bat your eyelashes for a full second of eye contact, and pucker up for a kiss.  This happens at obvious moments, such as after a fall, but most often for no particular reason at all.

Following closely in second place is your signature "recharge" embrace, where your head lolls on the shoulder, a slight smile creeps upon your face, and your hand absentmindedly strokes the back.  One of your first words was "hug," and one of the first directions you consistently followed was, without fuss or hesitation, "kiss!"  Your weekend and lazy-day snuggle fests are legendary.  You are what many would call "a schmoozer."  To me, your sweet moments are one hundred percent sincere and joyful - you are just my loving RamRam.
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The happy moments take on the same intensity, with even more exuberance.  Something as simple asfeeding the goats at the farm, stealing a freshly-baked cookie, picking the finest autumn leaves to show to me, or braiding up our Friday challahs fills you with so much delight that one can't help but giggle right along with you.  Your ability to find absolute pleasure in the simplest of things is the one trait that I most fervently pray will carry you through your entire life.
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278/365 - Peekaboo with Rami

Last night, on the eve of your birthday, we read another story together, just you and I. As we flipped through the customary birthday-eve book in our house, On the Night You Were Born, you loudly announced, "moon!" every time you saw it on the page, and let forth a big rolling belly laugh when I made the frog croak your name.

Since you are only two years old, you didn't understand why tears filled my eyes as I read lines like,
 

"The sound of your name is a magical one."

"You are a miracle."  and 

"You are the one and only ever you.
but you turned to look at me, patted my back, and gave me a comforting kiss anyway.  

How can I express how deeply and distinctly true those words are to me about you? You see, my dear one, I will never forget how, two and a half years ago, your very existence brought life back to me once again(And it doesn't hurt that you look more and more like your Abba every day!)

Happy Birthday, my sweet baby boy.

Love,
Ima

Friday, November 19, 2010

Shabbat Video Update: On the Move for Shoes

About Shabbat Video Updates: Many of our readers (namely the Ohio State folks) got their weekly Kopans kids fix on Shabbat at Hillel. We're going to make that fix easy for you to continue to get each and every week, move to Kansas City be damned. Shabbat Shalom Umevorach from the Kopans bayit to you!

In this week's episode:  NESI CRAWLS!!!!  And her motivation is none other than her ultra-girly sneaks. 

(side note: I understand that this song is incredibly sexist and stereotyping, but I'm choosing to see it as ironic.)

Monday, November 15, 2010

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Nesyah,

The last several months have been hard. It is not your fault, my sweetheart, that you were born amidst sweeping change in our lives, but so it was. Fitting myself into this new life of ours is a bit more challenging that any of us anticipated it would be. For reasons whose specifics are important to neither baby-you nor future-you, I admit that I have, at times during your tiny life, found myself mothering you joylessly. I am so sad to say that, my little love.

Yesterday morning as I was moving you from Changing Time (where I am in charge of amusing you) to Play Time (where you amuse yourself) so that I could complete some household task, something drew me to hunker down with you on the couch for a snuggle, and so I did.

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I don't know whether it was your boisterous belly giggles, your slimy baby tongue and fat, dimpled, grinning cheeks blowing raspberries and gumming up my face with complete abandon, or the amused sparkle in your eyes, but I knew at that moment I, your beleaguered old Ima, am the absolute best thing your sweet little heart can imagine. It is clear that you adore me. And I, my little darling, how very much do I adore you! So much that my heart both ached and sang during that unscheduled little playtime together - for those ten minutes, I felt that everything was miraculously right with the world.

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There is something incredible about a chest-to chest baby hug. I feel like a fiber far too strong to ever be broken is connecting my heart to yours. As our cuddle time was wrapping up, as cuddles must, when I clutched you to me, you reached behind my neck and twined my hair through your fat little fingers, idly, as if you could not imagine a more perfect arrangement. Neither can I.

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No matter how tough things are, my littlest duckling, I want you to know this - I love you with all of me. Even when I seem distant, or am feeling sad, I love you and your brothers with a depth that reaches so much farther than sadness, or fear, or loneliness, or desperation can.

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I have not forgotten, will never forget, how much I love you. You should never let your heart be worried about that.  All the same, you in your sweetness seemed drawn to give me a little lift, nudge, and reminder. Thank you, my sweet one.
Love,
Ima

Friday, November 12, 2010

Shabbat Video Update - Getting Clean

About Shabbat Video Updates: Many of our readers (namely the Ohio State folks) got their weekly Kopans kids fix on Shabbat at Hillel. We're going to make that fix easy for you to continue to get each and every week, move to Kansas City be damned. Shabbat Shalom Umevorach from the Kopans bayit to you!


In this week's episode: In case you were ever wondering how we get clean here at the Kopans bayit.  Some extra-special-fun sibling rivalry right around 40 seconds in!


Friday, November 5, 2010

Shabbat Video Update, Episode 12: It's Hard to Be a Baby

About Shabbat Video Updates: Many of our readers (namely the Ohio State folks) got their weekly Kopans kids fix on Shabbat at Hillel. We're going to make that fix easy for you to continue to get each and every week, move to Kansas City be damned. Shabbat Shalom Umevorach from the Kopans bayit to you!


In this week's episode:  Is Nesyah happy?  or sad?  Even she doesn't know.